Late Tuesday Night...

...WOW, all disks...damn I hope this all comes to pass.

Self=Five of Pentacles
Situation=Ten of Pentacles
Solution=Six of Pentacles

Again...I see this as a really good set. Got some things poppin' at work, other decent opportunities, possibilities. Game on!!

Monday 4/27/09 Three Card...

...this one is really something:

Self=IV The Emperor
Situation=VIII Strength
Solution=Four of Pentacles

Lots of POWER...lots of "get things done" in the material world. That's how it went Monday/Tuesday work stuff just jumping at me, and me being able to work with it.

Dang...

...just started this silly thing and I'm behind already.

Pooooo.....

Five Card Spread For Sunday...

...maybe I'll do this for a while.

1) Past=Nine of Swords
2) Present=I The Magician
3) Hidden/ Unconscious Influences=Page of Swords
4) Advice=King of Rods
5) Outcome=Wheel of Fortune

Aquarian Deck, Shadow Card=Ten of Pentacles (from bottom of deck)

I'll get to the interpretation later...verrrrry interesting....right now I can't keep my eyes open. 'Nite.

April 25th, 2009...

...was a tough day for me. I lost a love a few months ago, mostly through my fault...but it does take two doesn't it? And yesterday was her birthday. and I wasn't there. And my heart is still so broken I just don't know what to do. By the way...I do believe that we get what we put forth. I pretty much dumped two women over the last two years. One, I flipped out because I no longer felt safe or felt I had a place in the house (our house) due to a blended family situation that didn't blend, and the other was supposed to be a FWB situation that got "complicated". Don't they always? So I feel like I'm reaping what I've sown. A really crappy place to be e.i. it doesn't feel good. Feels like shit, actually.

So it's almost like HP gave me the cards for the GF. I made this remark to the woman at my favorite tarot shop and she quipped, "The cards will treat you better." Ha.

Were it only so. I thought things were going OK, that I was good to go for a reconciliation:

Self=Nine of Swords/Situation=Nine of Rods/Solution=Page of Rods
After a period of sustained persistent effort, the spurned suitor wins back the Princess

Then I did a reading exchange at a tarot forum and got this:

10 Swords rx * 6 Swords * 9 Wands
Shadow: Justice rx

I do not feel your chances look good for moving forward with X. However, I do feel the 6 of Swords is saying this might be a blessing in disguise...things have been an emotional rollercoaster, up and down...when will it end? It won't end right now, but I am not sure how much time you have left on the rollercoaster. Once you get off, though, it will be a big load off your shoulders. The 9 of Wands is giving me the feeling that you will have a talk with X about where you are heading, but you might feel as though you're fighting for your place in X's life.
The Shadow card makes me feel as though you have a good idea about what I just said, and this feels wrong and unfair to you. You want things to go forward with X, but perhaps a part of you is afraid to admit it might be nice to not have to worry about what will happen next with X.

Matters of the heart are very complex, to say in the least.

I hope this made sense.

...I replied:

...it made too much sense. I don't know whether to laugh or cry. I wish I COULD talk to her, but she's gone silent and isn't real easy to get to even when we were together, unless I was with her. Yes...it has been awful, and I want it to stop and I don't want to let go and I know I'll have to...the part of me that knows this is dead is gaining ground on the part that wants to hold on.

...sigh...

Ouch.

Bad, Bad Blogger!!!

Grrrrrrrrrr.....

Out Of All The Things I Do...

...and I like to do a lot of stuff, I am enjoying my journey into Tarot the most right now.

Of course I wish I had started way earlier...but oh well, I'm in it now and that's great. I started by finding...I can't quite remember how...a mention of a "Card of the Day" from somewhere. Googled that and got to Angel Paths and the wonderful folks there. Then I got to Gaian Tarot with Joanna and her really cool Oracle then the community at Aeclectic Tarot, and a LOT of other sites and resources and all kinds of great stuff and I got my first deck, David Palladini's beautiful Aquarian deck (I AM an Aquarian, natch...) and here I am. Just a few months ago.

Like I said...how great!